Things My Mother Never Told Me
Registered by bookguide of Wijchen, Gelderland Netherlands on 4/13/2008
This book is in a Controlled Release!
This book is in a Controlled Release!
2 journalers for this copy...
Foreign Exchange
Borrowed from the ForeignExchange bookboxes. Started reading 6th January 2009.
Needless to say, I haven't been reading this since January 2009; it got replaced on the shelf and left until March 2011.
This is an investigation into Blake Morrison's mother's past, her childhood and courtship with his father. After her death, the author discusses their mother's background with his sister and realises that they can't remember where she came from or how many brothers and sisters she had, as she seemed to have completely erased her Irish identity and history. Having already written a memoir about his father's life, Morrison decides to investigate his mother's life and his parents' relationship, as he is intrigued about what secrets her past might hold to make her so reticent, and also to explain her ability to accept his father's infidelity and overbearing manner.
Fortunately Blake's father had kept the complete correspondence between his wife, Kim and himself, Arthur, containing letters written almost daily for several years before they were married, when they were separated by WWII. Both parents were doctors, and while Kim stayed in England building up a career in surgery and obstetrics, Arthur was posted to various far-flung posts as an RAF doctor, including Iceland and the Azores, both of which postings left him with little to do, mostly treating minor injuries and illnesses. It must have been difficult after the war for women to give up their independence as men returned, expecting to go back to their old jobs and status. It seems shocking that Arthur expected Kim to start being a housewife at the end of the war, despite her education and expertise: "Oh I do wish you were looking after our home and forgetting medicine - and surgery."
The book raises some interesting questions about this generation, and I can see many comparisons with my own family which has me wondering. One of the central themes of the book is the way in which Kim and Arthur reconciled their differences concerning their religion, Kim being an Irish Roman Catholic and Arthur brought up in the Church of England. This seemed to be an impossible barrier for the couple, and yet they eventually did decide to marry, and from that point on Kim more or less suppressed her religion, even though it was deeply part of her, yet anti-Catholicism was ingrained in Arthur's family and British society in general. In regard to this, the author makes an insightful comment: "Perhaps the point about the truly prejudiced is that they don't know they are prejudiced; instead of holding beliefs, they merely inhabit them, without self-consciousness." Mixed marriages were only acceptable if they took place in a RC church (and no second wedding in an Anglican church), and if the children were brought up as Catholics. This intrigues me, as my parents were in the same situation, although the Irish connection was third generation, and I wonder if there was as much soul-searching as went on with Morrison's parents. In both cases, the result was a secular upbringing, which just goes to show the Catholic priests were right to worry about it!
In all, this was a fascinating insight into a courtship during the Second World War, although naturally the author, unable to question his parents, has to speculate at their true motives, and wonders whether they revealed the whole truth in their letters. He remains perplexed by Kim's passivity, and mourns for the person he believes she could and should have been, in different circumstances. The letters are extensively quoted, and Morrison comments on the language and slang used at the time. Fascinating.
This is an investigation into Blake Morrison's mother's past, her childhood and courtship with his father. After her death, the author discusses their mother's background with his sister and realises that they can't remember where she came from or how many brothers and sisters she had, as she seemed to have completely erased her Irish identity and history. Having already written a memoir about his father's life, Morrison decides to investigate his mother's life and his parents' relationship, as he is intrigued about what secrets her past might hold to make her so reticent, and also to explain her ability to accept his father's infidelity and overbearing manner.
Fortunately Blake's father had kept the complete correspondence between his wife, Kim and himself, Arthur, containing letters written almost daily for several years before they were married, when they were separated by WWII. Both parents were doctors, and while Kim stayed in England building up a career in surgery and obstetrics, Arthur was posted to various far-flung posts as an RAF doctor, including Iceland and the Azores, both of which postings left him with little to do, mostly treating minor injuries and illnesses. It must have been difficult after the war for women to give up their independence as men returned, expecting to go back to their old jobs and status. It seems shocking that Arthur expected Kim to start being a housewife at the end of the war, despite her education and expertise: "Oh I do wish you were looking after our home and forgetting medicine - and surgery."
The book raises some interesting questions about this generation, and I can see many comparisons with my own family which has me wondering. One of the central themes of the book is the way in which Kim and Arthur reconciled their differences concerning their religion, Kim being an Irish Roman Catholic and Arthur brought up in the Church of England. This seemed to be an impossible barrier for the couple, and yet they eventually did decide to marry, and from that point on Kim more or less suppressed her religion, even though it was deeply part of her, yet anti-Catholicism was ingrained in Arthur's family and British society in general. In regard to this, the author makes an insightful comment: "Perhaps the point about the truly prejudiced is that they don't know they are prejudiced; instead of holding beliefs, they merely inhabit them, without self-consciousness." Mixed marriages were only acceptable if they took place in a RC church (and no second wedding in an Anglican church), and if the children were brought up as Catholics. This intrigues me, as my parents were in the same situation, although the Irish connection was third generation, and I wonder if there was as much soul-searching as went on with Morrison's parents. In both cases, the result was a secular upbringing, which just goes to show the Catholic priests were right to worry about it!
In all, this was a fascinating insight into a courtship during the Second World War, although naturally the author, unable to question his parents, has to speculate at their true motives, and wonders whether they revealed the whole truth in their letters. He remains perplexed by Kim's passivity, and mourns for the person he believes she could and should have been, in different circumstances. The letters are extensively quoted, and Morrison comments on the language and slang used at the time. Fascinating.
Added to the ForeignExchange book boxes after reading.
Caught again to take to the Bridges Book Club book swap.
For the Bridges Book Club book swap.
This book has been released as part of the following BookCrossing challenges:
- The Ultimate Challenge - read and release books, with extra points for a monthly theme
- Reduce Mount TBR (To Be Read) - read and release books on the TBR list since before the end of the previous year.
This book has been released as part of the following BookCrossing challenges:
- The Ultimate Challenge - read and release books, with extra points for a monthly theme
- Reduce Mount TBR (To Be Read) - read and release books on the TBR list since before the end of the previous year.
