The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family

by Dan Savage | Biographies & Memoirs |
ISBN: 0452287634 Global Overview for this book
Registered by rem_XDP-320934 on 5/28/2007
Buy from one of these Booksellers: | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon DE | Amazon FR | Amazon IT |
3 journalers for this copy...
Journal Entry 1 by rem_XDP-320934 on Monday, May 28, 2007
will read soon

Journal Entry 2 by rem_XDP-320934 on Friday, June 22, 2007
Everybody should read this book- regardless of opinion- regardless of sexual preference. It makes my list of VIB-s (Very Important Book)


Journal Entry 4 by wingGoryDetailswing from Nashua, New Hampshire USA on Monday, August 20, 2007
I'd read and enjoyed The Commitment some time back, so I won't keep this copy, but I did want to add my comments before sending it along with the rest of the bookbox:

This book focuses on Dan and Terry's upcoming tenth anniversary, and the not-so-subtle hints from Dan's mother that they should go ahead and get married (even if they have to dash up to Canada to do it). There's the usual family/relationship/will-they-or-won't-they humor, mixed with some very edgy commentary about the state of same-sex marriage in the US. There are wonderfully warm and funny bits here, and some touching ones, and the occasional surprise - definitely recommended! [The book is bristling with bits of paper marking passages I wanted to quote; I think I'll have to be more selective or else I'll wind up typing in the whole thing!]

Well, there's the bit about their son DJ's pet poodle, which manages to incorporate the kid's-first-dog elements, some interesting reverse-snobbery on Dan's part, and considerable drama when the dog suffers a serious injury. And from there it leapfrogs to a touch of social commentary, when Dan, after hearing about the dog's accident from a hysterical Terry, calls the vet to check on things - and is denied the information as he isn't a family member:
"For years I worried that I would one day be denied the right to make medical decisions for Terry in the case of an emergency. It never occurred to me that, as a gay couple, we would face discrimination during our poodle's medical emergency. "Lady, it's a dog - and the hysterical fag who brought the dog in? That's my boyfriend. And the dog isn't even technically his dog. It's my son's dog. And I paid for that dog. And you know what? You have my permission to release my dog's confidential medical information to anyone on earth who expresses the least bit of interest in it. Christ!"

The receptionist didn't budge. Who knew that one of the rights that married people enjoy is the ability to find out about the medical conditions of their sons' poodles?"

Here's a bit that more directly sums up the central conflict of the book:
"How can two gay guys be in favor of legal same-sex marriage and huge fans of the traditional family without wanting to marry? My boyfriend, rather hilariously, says he doesn't want to get married because - and I quote - "I don't want to act like straight people." I believe the first time he made this comment he was folding my laundry, balancing our baby on his hip, and stirring a pot of grits on the stove.

My excuse is a bit more reasoned: Making a big, public stink about your big, beautiful relationship seems to be the kiss of death - and not just for straight couples (think of all those divorce lawyers out there), but for gay couples as well."

OK, that's two quotes and I'm only on page 55. I think I'll just leave the rest for those who read the book. But do, do read it!

Well, OK, one more, from farther along in the book, when the guys are planning a not-a-wedding-at-all party to celebrate their union, and Dan describes four of the major fights they have along the way:
"At this point, the conversation degenerated into our usual fight aobut money - one we should burn onto a CD along with the fight about music in the car, so we can just press play and save ourselves the trouble of stating and restating our positions, which never change and can be summed up like this:
"DAN: Money has become an abstraction to you, something that magically appears in our bank account, and you spend it without thinking.
TERRY: If I don't spend your money, who will? Now go get me another beer, bitch."

I'm probably not doing Terry's position justice - he'll have to write his own book if he wants to see his point of view accurately portrayed."

And don't miss the bit where Dan claims that automobiles are a primary cause of the rise in divorce rates - and makes a compelling case for it. And then there's the simply wonderful bit where...

Oh, bother; I knew I'd try to quote the whole thing. Must... stop... now. But do read it; it's ALL good!

Journal Entry 5 by trevor4551 from Caloundra, Queensland Australia on Thursday, September 13, 2007

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