How to Be a Canadian: Even If You Already are One

by Will Ferguson | Humor |
ISBN: 1550548913 Global Overview for this book
Registered by tintagel of Midland, Ontario Canada on 1/23/2004
Buy from one of these Booksellers:
Amazon.com | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon DE | Amazon FR | Amazon IT | Bol.com
9 journalers for this copy...
Journal Entry 1 by tintagel from Midland, Ontario Canada on Friday, January 23, 2004
Some good humour, quite corny in places.

Journal Entry 2 by anderal from Calgary, Alberta Canada on Monday, January 26, 2004
BOOKRING
CLOSED

"ROUND THE WORLD" COPY
Participants (IN ORDER): INTL - international

keister - Anchorage, Alaska - ?
Czersk - Roscoe, Minnesota - INTL
florafloraflora (formerly sugarkane) - Washington, D.C. - INTL
Agrace - Frisco, Texas - INTL
Hero - Dublin, Ireland - INTL
martinburo - Jena, Germany - INTL

flipa - Kanqasala, Finland - INTL <------- CURRENTLY WITH
Hengameh - Tehran, Iran - INTL
Dei - Signapore - INTL
Dozer - Sarawak, Malaysia - INTL
newk - Adelaide, Australia - INTL
caligula03 - Pacifica, California - INTL (Would like in at end)




From Amazon.ca
How to be a Canadian. Don't worry: here, the phrase is not punctuated by the usual soul-searching question mark. Instead, the Ferguson brothers boldly assert that, since they have both been Canadian their whole lives, they are uniquely qualified to dissect Canadian society. Besides, Margaret Atwood told them to do this book, but that's another story.
As a guidebook, How to Be a Canadian contains "a wealth of information gathered from fact-filled articles that [the authors] sort of remember reading somewhere," but frankly, the facts are there as a framework for a wicked sense of humour. The jokes, which fill every page, are sometimes juvenile: "There are 30,000,000 people in Canada-- all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a flagpole." They are sometimes pointedly amusing: "Often, when the UN needs a cereal box translated, they call in the Canadians, who parachute out of stealth bombers clutching boxes of Capitaine Crounche." And they are often laugh-out-loud, fall-out-of-bed funny: "There is the assumption that Canada has only two seasons: Winter and Not Winter...In fact, Canada has no fewer than six distinct seasons: Tax; Hockey; More Hockey; Still More Hockey; Summer (also known as the July Long Weekend); and finally Good God, Isn't the Hockey Season Over by Now?!"

Will and Ian Ferguson divide their guidebook into such useful sections as How to Find Canada on a Map; Canada: A Rich Tapestry (Who to Hate and Why); and my personal favourite, Twelve Ways to Say "I'm Sorry." Nothing defines the national character more than our "sorry," especially vis-a-vis the Americans. As the authors point out, "once you learn how to properly say 'I'm sorry,' you will no longer be trying to become Canadian, you will have rewired your brain to such a degree that you will actually be Canadian." For a true Canadian, the opportunities for saying "I'm sorry" are endless, but there is one uniquely Canadian "sorry": the one you use when someone else steps on your foot.

The book concludes with a quiz designed to evaluate your level of Canadianness. For example, if you hear the name "Elvis" and think of figure skating, you get 1 point. If you can't remember if you've ever curled or not, because of how drunk you were, you get 50 points. If you know the words to "Barrett's Privateers" but not the national anthem, you get 10 points. And so on. The perfect score is zero points; I'll let the Fergusons explain why: "So, you couldn't even be bothered to do the damn quiz. Too much effort, eh? You just skipped to the end. Talk about slack. Talk about lazy. Talk about Canadian! Congratulations. You are now one of us."




Journal Entry 3 by tintagel from Midland, Ontario Canada on Wednesday, February 4, 2004
On to Calgary to be in a book ring. Mailed in Midland, Ontario on January 30/04

Journal Entry 4 by anderal at on Friday, February 13, 2004
Released on Friday, February 13, 2004 at Postal Release in Calgary, Alberta, Canada Controlled Releases.

It's outta here. Thanks tintagel. This one is off to Keister to start the "Round the World" part of this ring. ENJOY!

Journal Entry 5 by keister from Anchorage, Alaska USA on Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Oh this is great! Went to the po box this morning and had my favorite kind of goodie! Have already read bits aloud to hubby and had to stop --- freetos and scotch were flying!!! :o)

Journal Entry 6 by keister from Anchorage, Alaska USA on Monday, April 19, 2004
Oh cruddies, late entry here. I sent this off a bit ago to czersk on a continuing bookring mission. Always behind on my paperwork!!! :9P

Journal Entry 7 by Czersk from Roscoe, Minnesota USA on Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Just came in the mail today, and it's already taken precedence over the books I ought to be reading (as in my American lit, and Honors English books) but who cares about them when I can be reading about Canada! (There's only nine days left of school anyway;P) I promise this will be read quick and sent off soon.

Journal Entry 8 by Czersk from Roscoe, Minnesota USA on Saturday, May 22, 2004
I loved this book and so did everyone who saw it. Explanation: my friend Kayla saw it, read the beginning, and went straight to her library to borrow it, and ended up making the library order it. My friend Berta saw it, took it home for the night, and brought it back to me finished the next morning with a raving review, and made me read all the funniest parts in the book right away. My friend Steph wanted to borrow it, but I wouldn't let her 1) because it is in a ring and must be passed on to the next person and 2)she has a habit of not giving my books back. (Which is why The Iliad is not registered under my bookshelf :) I made a note on my high school librarian's bulletin board to order this book next time she's buying books. As you can see, this book went over VERY well here in Minnesota. Thank you for involving me in this ring!

On to florafloraflora in D.C.!

Journal Entry 9 by Czersk from Roscoe, Minnesota USA on Saturday, May 29, 2004
Mailed out today-May 29, 2004- to florafloraflora in D. C.

Journal Entry 10 by florafloraflora on Friday, June 4, 2004
This has arrived - thanks! I'll journal when I finish reading.

Journal Entry 11 by florafloraflora on Sunday, June 13, 2004
Hilarious. I think my favorite part was the one about Canadian music: "Once Celine latches onto a note, you can't shake her off. She's like a Rottweiler on a kitten. She will hold that note forever and squeeze it like a lemon, till she wrings out every ounce of overwrought emotion possible." Don't miss the new Bryan Adams song, "I'm Gonna Wanna Gonna Go".

As someone who has actually been known to wish she were Canadian, I'd sort of like to keep this book around for reference, but I will pass it on to Agrace as soon as I get her address. Thanks anderal, for making me snort drinks out my nose.

Journal Entry 12 by florafloraflora on Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Mailed out today to Agrace.

Journal Entry 13 by Agrace from Frisco, Texas USA on Monday, June 28, 2004
arrived in the mail today! I'll get to it shortly!

Journal Entry 14 by Hero from Dublin, Co. Dublin Ireland on Monday, September 13, 2004
Arrived this morning and will be starting in a day or two. I've been looking forward to this a lot - thanks to Agrace and anderal!

Journal Entry 15 by Hero from Dublin, Co. Dublin Ireland on Thursday, September 16, 2004
Just finished this and thoroughly enjoyed it! Like florafloraflora, the bit about Celine Dior cracked me up, and I also loved the parts about Canadian literature. There were moments when I thought the humour was a tiny bit repetitive, but they'd inevitably be followed by others which had me laughing out loud again.

Now for the scary bit: the summary to Chapter 8 talks about Leopard in the Snow, the worst Candian movie ever made, and perhaps the worst movie of all time. And I've seen it - oh yes I have! In my own defense I have to say that I took an older friend who didn't get to the films often, and knew she'd never get hubby to agree to a romance. (This was before anyone talked about chick flicks - how much is my age showing.) What are the chances, eh? Sorry, shouldn't use the terminology without having qualified as Canadian. ;)

Will be sending this on to martinburo tomorrow. Thanks again to andaral for the chance to read this!

Journal Entry 16 by martinburo from Norwich, Norfolk United Kingdom on Thursday, September 23, 2004
Thanks Hero and anderal. I am halfway through, and have asked flipa for hes address.

Journal Entry 17 by martinburo from Norwich, Norfolk United Kingdom on Saturday, September 25, 2004
I'm sorry, I didn't think much of this book. Maybe it's appropriately like Canada, with a joke that is actually funny every 100 miles. I think it would have been a better book if it had been much thinner, especially most of the middle of the book could have been deleted. I thought it was rather interesting how it managed to be relaxed and strained at the same time about being politically correct (saying something nice and something scathing about every city and territory, about the native population, about the French, even to some extent about the USA).
Flipa sent me her address so I will send it on tomorrow.

Journal Entry 18 by flipa from Kangasala, Pirkanmaa / Birkaland Finland on Tuesday, October 5, 2004
Got the book per post today. Thanks martinburo.

Journal Entry 19 by flipa from Kangasala, Pirkanmaa / Birkaland Finland on Sunday, November 21, 2004
Sorry, it took time to read this... Some parts are more amusing than others: I liked those parts most which were so similar to other nordic people - like me and perhaps other Finns, too :-)

It seems to be easy reading but is not, one needs some concentration - this was my problem, I always fell asleep while reading. No no, it's not that bad!

"The election in Canada has become a night of the living dead", this is my favourite, because it seems to be so true elsewhere too.
---
Edit Nov. 22: I loved this one, too:"There are 30,000,000 people in Canada - all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a chainlink fence or flagpole." Because I've also done it, not only once but once a year when I was a kid. Then it occured to me, that my children (12, 10 and 6) HAVEN'T DONE it. Why? What's the matter with the modern kids? Or the flagpoles?(I didn't even mention about that to them, 'cause I'm sure they would try...)


Journal Entry 20 by flipa from Kangasala, Pirkanmaa / Birkaland Finland on Friday, November 26, 2004
Sent today to Hengameh.

Are you sure you want to delete this item? It cannot be undone.