Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife
Registered by wildflower37 of Montclair, New Jersey USA on 2/13/2010
This Book is Currently in the Wild!
This Book is Currently in the Wild!
15 journalers for this copy...
Okay, I admit it. After watching Big Love and reading another memoir about polygamy, I had to pick this up at a used book sale.
I found myself enthralled by this story - it was hard to imagine the aching poverty and heartache of Irene's life.
I sent this to dvg as a RABCK, and the BCID was lost in the conversion to the new site. As her entry below attests, she was tireless in getting this fixed.
I found myself enthralled by this story - it was hard to imagine the aching poverty and heartache of Irene's life.
I sent this to dvg as a RABCK, and the BCID was lost in the conversion to the new site. As her entry below attests, she was tireless in getting this fixed.
"Surprise!" This book's BCID has been restored after being lost in the Beta upgrade quirkiness of May 2010. Thanks to Amy in BC support for continuing to keep me informed and to Matt for doing the actual restoration of the BCID number for Wildflower37 and myself.
Brief JE Comment: I originally received in February of 2010 as a surprise Wishlist RABCK from Wildflower37. I was so happy to receive it not only because I am fascinated by the topic and some courage of these women to break free, but because I read another book written by a 'sister wife' who had mentioned the author in her book.
The other book, "Favorite Wife: Escape from Polygamy" by Susan Ray Schmidt mentions this person throughout her story and also mentions this book at the end of hers.
From another BCID JE, I had noted finishing this book on 4Nov2010. This was a well-written account of Irene's life and her marriage to Verlan LeBaron as his wife #2. In Favorite Wife mentioned above, it is the account of Wife #3, Susan Ray Schmidt. I mention that because there are similar 'scenes' or 'plot points' that you will recall and it is interesting to read the slightly different points of view. Otherwise, the stories compliment each other. I found Irene's story to be interesting and full of courage, strength and love. I found the last several chapters and epilogue to be extremely interesting: where she stands on religion at the writing of this book and how her children see religion. Good read.
Brief JE Comment: I originally received in February of 2010 as a surprise Wishlist RABCK from Wildflower37. I was so happy to receive it not only because I am fascinated by the topic and some courage of these women to break free, but because I read another book written by a 'sister wife' who had mentioned the author in her book.
The other book, "Favorite Wife: Escape from Polygamy" by Susan Ray Schmidt mentions this person throughout her story and also mentions this book at the end of hers.
From another BCID JE, I had noted finishing this book on 4Nov2010. This was a well-written account of Irene's life and her marriage to Verlan LeBaron as his wife #2. In Favorite Wife mentioned above, it is the account of Wife #3, Susan Ray Schmidt. I mention that because there are similar 'scenes' or 'plot points' that you will recall and it is interesting to read the slightly different points of view. Otherwise, the stories compliment each other. I found Irene's story to be interesting and full of courage, strength and love. I found the last several chapters and epilogue to be extremely interesting: where she stands on religion at the writing of this book and how her children see religion. Good read.
Journal Entry 3 by dvg at Surprise For Another BookCrosser, A RABCK -- Controlled Releases on Saturday, January 8, 2011
Released 13 yrs ago (1/10/2011 UTC) at Surprise For Another BookCrosser, A RABCK -- Controlled Releases
CONTROLLED RELEASE NOTES:
I spotted Cult Insanity by Irene Spencer offered in the forums as a bookray (I believe I signed up for it). In that thread, I noted that daberco expressed interest in it as well and that she had not read this title yet. Since that title was a follow-up to this book, I mentioned that I would send this to her once the BCID had been restored.
I am so excited about this book being able to continue its journey as intended! =) Happy travels to another excited BCer. =)
Also my first RABCK of 2011! WooHoo! =)
|Sent as part of the 2011 RABCK Release Challenge!|
I am so excited about this book being able to continue its journey as intended! =) Happy travels to another excited BCer. =)
Also my first RABCK of 2011! WooHoo! =)
Received in the mail yesterday. THANK YOU, dvg, for the RABCK!! I have read a number of books by other women who have escaped from polygamy and am looking forward to reading this one. I live in UT and periodically stories are in the local news concerning the FLDS. This has fueled my interest in what really goes on behind the closed doors. Often I will remember the situations the women write about in their books from the news.
This book is different from other books I have read previously about polygamy. This author was born into a polygamous family and married into the polygamous faith in the 40's and 50's. In the beginning of the book she talks about the "Principles" of their faith which gave me a better understanding of "why". Her story, does not talk about the physical abuse, which other books I've read previously, do. Instead, she writes about her own inner and physical turmoil of living in this religion. She also writes about the neglect, poverty, and sacrifices that she, the other wives and children had to endure.
The other books I have previously read written by women who have escaped polygamy were written by women who more recently lived and escaped the polygamous life. I also believe they all had lived under Warren Jeffs as their leader. This author lived in a different sect of polygamy earlier in history and she wasn't physically forced into this lifestyle but went into it because of her religious beliefs. She does question the "Principles" before and throughout her marriage but doesn't have the inner strength or convictions to go against them.
I want to share this book with other readers so I'm currently offering it as a bookring in the forums.
THANK YOU again, dvg, for this RABCK!!
The other books I have previously read written by women who have escaped polygamy were written by women who more recently lived and escaped the polygamous life. I also believe they all had lived under Warren Jeffs as their leader. This author lived in a different sect of polygamy earlier in history and she wasn't physically forced into this lifestyle but went into it because of her religious beliefs. She does question the "Principles" before and throughout her marriage but doesn't have the inner strength or convictions to go against them.
I want to share this book with other readers so I'm currently offering it as a bookring in the forums.
THANK YOU again, dvg, for this RABCK!!
I decided to make a bookring with this book. The rules are pretty basic.
1. Journal when you receive the book.
2. Journal your thoughts after you read the book.
3. Pm the next person on the list for their address then journal when you mail the book. Media mail is fine.Please try to move the book on within a month. If you will be keeping it longer (life happens), please journal or pm me so that I know where the book is. Please be considerate of the people on the list after you who are still waiting to read this book.
Participant mailing order:
1. Aberpeter - WA
2. Maranlin - Canada
3. Minerva101 - Canada
4. megami-no-ushi - Canada
5. secretariat - CA
6. emmmersss - CA
7. NMReader - VA
8. valerief - NY
9. azuki - FL
10. Dove-i-Libri - FL
11. dabercro - UT
Bookring complete. Thanks to all participants.
1. Journal when you receive the book.
2. Journal your thoughts after you read the book.
3. Pm the next person on the list for their address then journal when you mail the book. Media mail is fine.Please try to move the book on within a month. If you will be keeping it longer (life happens), please journal or pm me so that I know where the book is. Please be considerate of the people on the list after you who are still waiting to read this book.
Participant mailing order:
1. Aberpeter - WA
2. Maranlin - Canada
3. Minerva101 - Canada
4. megami-no-ushi - Canada
5. secretariat - CA
6. emmmersss - CA
7. NMReader - VA
8. valerief - NY
9. azuki - FL
10. Dove-i-Libri - FL
11. dabercro - UT
Bookring complete. Thanks to all participants.
Journal Entry 7 by dabercro at -- BookRing, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA on Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Released 13 yrs ago (1/28/2011 UTC) at -- BookRing, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA
CONTROLLED RELEASE NOTES:
Getting this bookring started on its journey. Passing this book on to Aberpeter in WA when I see her this weekend.
next on my TBR pile.
Irene Spencer grew up in a polygamist family and married into one when she was only 16. From living in utter poverty to needing the love and affection only a husband can offer, Irene spent most of her life wanting more.
This book gives an interesting perspective into the polygamist life style and Irene tells her story very matter-of-fact. She isn't giving excuses nor is she looking for sympathy. She is simply telling her life story.
I've PMd Maranlin for an address.
This book gives an interesting perspective into the polygamist life style and Irene tells her story very matter-of-fact. She isn't giving excuses nor is she looking for sympathy. She is simply telling her life story.
I've PMd Maranlin for an address.
dropping off at the post office this morning... the book is on its way to Canada
The book has arrived! I look forward to reading it. Thanks, Aberpeter for sending it to me.
This is the first book I have read about polygamy. I found it to be quite an eye opener into this lifestyle. It is difficult to understand why women would enter (and stay in) polygamous relationships. However, Irene very adeptly explains the Principles of her religion so the reader gets a better understanding. I have seen TV documentaries on this subject, but nothing with as much detail and reality as this book.
Thank you, daberco, for sharing. I have the address for Minerva101 and will send this book on its journey in the next couple of days.
Thank you, daberco, for sharing. I have the address for Minerva101 and will send this book on its journey in the next couple of days.
Put this book in the mail today to Minerva101. Thank you for sharing.
I received this book yesterday safe and sound :)
I will put this book on the top of my pile, but i am in the middle of reading a different book that I need to finish. With any luck I should be able to pass this to megami-no-ushi at the Calgary Bookcrossing meeting here May 14th.
Thank you for sharing this book as a ring, dabercro, and thank you for mailing it to me, maranlin!
I will put this book on the top of my pile, but i am in the middle of reading a different book that I need to finish. With any luck I should be able to pass this to megami-no-ushi at the Calgary Bookcrossing meeting here May 14th.
Thank you for sharing this book as a ring, dabercro, and thank you for mailing it to me, maranlin!
This was a very compelling read. Once I started it I just had to keep going. I was happy that this book seems to be written from such a different point of view than other books on the subject.
The fact that this book was about actively living the Principles and about the resulting loneliness, poverty and heartache just makes the subject of polygamy even harder to take than the stories centered around sexual abuse. As an independant, educated woman raising 3 children on my own I can't fathom for a minute why any woman would put up with Verlan and his total self-involvement longer than a second. Just goes to show you how indoctrination into a religion like that works. Blows my mind, really.
I also found this book very interesting in that I have grown up around LDS and to this day my very best friend in the world is LDS. Straight up - LDS are NOT fundamentalist mormons. They are not the same thing at all, just as a Muslim is NOT an Islamic extremist.
Thank you so much for sharing this book - it really was a worthwhile read and I always find that reading books such as this helps me to recognize how truly wonderful I have things in my own life. Be grateful every day....
The fact that this book was about actively living the Principles and about the resulting loneliness, poverty and heartache just makes the subject of polygamy even harder to take than the stories centered around sexual abuse. As an independant, educated woman raising 3 children on my own I can't fathom for a minute why any woman would put up with Verlan and his total self-involvement longer than a second. Just goes to show you how indoctrination into a religion like that works. Blows my mind, really.
I also found this book very interesting in that I have grown up around LDS and to this day my very best friend in the world is LDS. Straight up - LDS are NOT fundamentalist mormons. They are not the same thing at all, just as a Muslim is NOT an Islamic extremist.
Thank you so much for sharing this book - it really was a worthwhile read and I always find that reading books such as this helps me to recognize how truly wonderful I have things in my own life. Be grateful every day....
Whoops, I forgot to journal this when I picked it up from Minerva101 a week ago.
I picked up this book Sunday lunchtime and put it down finished at 10 to 12 and dreamed of it all night. It was a compelling read and I appreciated so many things that Irene included to tell her story. The background of the beliefs of FLDS in the detail that she includes is really powerful - I'd never understood the theological underpinnings surrounding some of the more divergent beliefs from mainstream Christianity. IMO, it's a story worthy of Dan Brown but to each their own. I completely understand and agree with the author why the community feels it nessesary to seperate from society and indoctrinate their children - it would probably not survive intellectual curiosity.
I found Verlan to be a passive aggressive idiot who couldn't keep his word if his life depended on it. As I told Minerva101 in a PM, if I were Irene, I would have introduced his face to my heaviest frying pan on several occasions. Actually in all seriousness, the ways that society has concocted to utterly trap these women into these marraiges, I could completely understand if she had.
I think the issue that disgusted me the most was the dealings of the medical issues surounding Irene's last pregnancy. It really hit home for me that some people value quantity of life over quality of life to an extreme degree. For all that FLDS women are valued for "motherhood" at the core that value has nothing to do with acutally parenting and everything to do with human incubation capability. My prior understanding of this issue came from a devout LDS couple I know who turned to the leaders for guidance when diagnosed with an ectopic pregancy and were guided to a morally AND medically sound decision that valued the health of the wife. Irene's "morally sound" options either left her 13 children motherless when her next pregnancy killed her, or had her put aside as a wife essentially.
Thanks for sharing this difficult, interesting book! I'm very glad to have read it!
PM sent to secretariat.
I picked up this book Sunday lunchtime and put it down finished at 10 to 12 and dreamed of it all night. It was a compelling read and I appreciated so many things that Irene included to tell her story. The background of the beliefs of FLDS in the detail that she includes is really powerful - I'd never understood the theological underpinnings surrounding some of the more divergent beliefs from mainstream Christianity. IMO, it's a story worthy of Dan Brown but to each their own. I completely understand and agree with the author why the community feels it nessesary to seperate from society and indoctrinate their children - it would probably not survive intellectual curiosity.
I found Verlan to be a passive aggressive idiot who couldn't keep his word if his life depended on it. As I told Minerva101 in a PM, if I were Irene, I would have introduced his face to my heaviest frying pan on several occasions. Actually in all seriousness, the ways that society has concocted to utterly trap these women into these marraiges, I could completely understand if she had.
I think the issue that disgusted me the most was the dealings of the medical issues surounding Irene's last pregnancy. It really hit home for me that some people value quantity of life over quality of life to an extreme degree. For all that FLDS women are valued for "motherhood" at the core that value has nothing to do with acutally parenting and everything to do with human incubation capability. My prior understanding of this issue came from a devout LDS couple I know who turned to the leaders for guidance when diagnosed with an ectopic pregancy and were guided to a morally AND medically sound decision that valued the health of the wife. Irene's "morally sound" options either left her 13 children motherless when her next pregnancy killed her, or had her put aside as a wife essentially.
Thanks for sharing this difficult, interesting book! I'm very glad to have read it!
PM sent to secretariat.
Journal Entry 17 by megami-no-ushi at Bookring/Bookray, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- Canada on Saturday, May 14, 2011
Released 12 yrs ago (5/13/2011 UTC) at Bookring/Bookray, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- Canada
CONTROLLED RELEASE NOTES:
I forgot to make release notes on Thursday when I took my dog down to the post office to put this in the mail to california.
To the finder:
Calgary has an active group of BookCrossers that meet to swap books and discuss book crossing every second Saturday of the month at 11am at the Joshua Tree Cafe on Edmonton Trail. We always love to meet new crossers, so please join us any time you like!
To the finder:
Calgary has an active group of BookCrossers that meet to swap books and discuss book crossing every second Saturday of the month at 11am at the Joshua Tree Cafe on Edmonton Trail. We always love to meet new crossers, so please join us any time you like!
Arrived safe and sound. I'm in the midst of two and have another in the wings and then this will be read. Thank you to dabercro for sending it out on the ring.
A cautionary book about the power of religious indoctrination.
I've sent a PM to the next in line and will get it off when she replies.
I've sent a PM to the next in line and will get it off when she replies.
Sent off to the next in line.
Received this book on the 13th! Thanks for sending it my way! (: I just moved out of state and was without internet for a bit, sorry for taking so long to journal it. It should be on its way to the next person soon!
The book has arrived. I will start soon.
It isn't often I am as light on Rings and rays as I presently am.
I went ahead and started this book. It will not be my primary read as I have another book from BC that I am behind on reading.
The story thus far is not unexpected.
Nov 7: I am about 1/3 of the way through the book. Interesting to see how ingrained the idea of The Principle was and how hard it would be for a young girl to fight the idea of being a goddess vs just an angel.
Nov 12: I had a good read this morning. My sister hadn't slept well last night and as she snoozed off and on laying on the couch, I read about 60 pages. The third wife has joined the family.
Nov 14: I am about 1/2 way through the book. One of Irene sons went for a ride and caused some worry.
Nov 17: Less than 100 pages left. Irene's mother and brother have come for a visit.
Nov 18: Irene's husband has reached having a quorum.
I went ahead and started this book. It will not be my primary read as I have another book from BC that I am behind on reading.
The story thus far is not unexpected.
Nov 7: I am about 1/3 of the way through the book. Interesting to see how ingrained the idea of The Principle was and how hard it would be for a young girl to fight the idea of being a goddess vs just an angel.
Nov 12: I had a good read this morning. My sister hadn't slept well last night and as she snoozed off and on laying on the couch, I read about 60 pages. The third wife has joined the family.
Nov 14: I am about 1/2 way through the book. One of Irene sons went for a ride and caused some worry.
Nov 17: Less than 100 pages left. Irene's mother and brother have come for a visit.
Nov 18: Irene's husband has reached having a quorum.
I was surprised by how this book ended.
This was a far different book then the other books about polygamist that I have heard about where the discussion centered on the sexual abuse of young children.
This was a far different book then the other books about polygamist that I have heard about where the discussion centered on the sexual abuse of young children.
I have the address of the next participant and will drop this book in the mail after work.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it to the PO until today,
Delivery Confirmation Number: 0311 2550 0000 4177 2048
Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it to the PO until today,
Delivery Confirmation Number: 0311 2550 0000 4177 2048
This arrived sometime in the holiday crush. Looking forward to reading. It's next on my TBR.
I finished this book more quickly than I expected, but I feel conflicted about it. On one hand, I appreciate Irene sharing her experience in a polygamous family and then marriage. On the other, I struggled to empathize with her on occasion when I felt she was being spiteful at times and then too submissive. Her strength and perseverance are laudable in the face of such struggle and loneliness.
Verlan's narcissism often reminded me of Bill Hendrickson on "Big Love," although the sister wives on the show seem much better cared for financially and physically.
It's coincidental that I read this alongside the announcement that Mitt Romney has family ties to Mexico. Most of the media gloss over the emigration as "religious persecution;" I have yet to hear one mention that a main driver was for Mormons to continue to practice polygamy avoiding the scrutiny of the US government and the newly-monogamous LDS church. I wonder what the candidate's thoughts are on that practice. In my own view, if adults consensually enter the relationship and do not become a social welfare burden on the greater community, it's really none of my business.
I'm awaiting azuki's address, will allow a little more time before skipping to the next.
Verlan's narcissism often reminded me of Bill Hendrickson on "Big Love," although the sister wives on the show seem much better cared for financially and physically.
It's coincidental that I read this alongside the announcement that Mitt Romney has family ties to Mexico. Most of the media gloss over the emigration as "religious persecution;" I have yet to hear one mention that a main driver was for Mormons to continue to practice polygamy avoiding the scrutiny of the US government and the newly-monogamous LDS church. I wonder what the candidate's thoughts are on that practice. In my own view, if adults consensually enter the relationship and do not become a social welfare burden on the greater community, it's really none of my business.
I'm awaiting azuki's address, will allow a little more time before skipping to the next.
This is off to azuki!
Thanks for passing the book along!
I didn't expect it to be such a heavy hardcover. I am in the middle of another book but should be able to start on it in a week or so.
I didn't expect it to be such a heavy hardcover. I am in the middle of another book but should be able to start on it in a week or so.
I feel sorry for the author, who at a young age, was forced by her religious belief and those around her into marrying a polygamist. It's hard to imagine the abject poverty she went through. She has to beg for discards from farmers. They are too poor to even shop at thrift shops - they get throw-aways, clothes and shoes that are in such bad conditions that even thrift shops won't sell. Not to mention that most of the time she was struggling on her own, having to share her husband with numerous wives. I don't know how she managed it. I sure can't.
It's curious how everybody in the book seems to know when they will die... I also like looking at the pictures. It seems like all the kids have Irene's square face instead of Verlan's long one.
This will now be heading to Dove-i-libri.
It's curious how everybody in the book seems to know when they will die... I also like looking at the pictures. It seems like all the kids have Irene's square face instead of Verlan's long one.
This will now be heading to Dove-i-libri.
The book is safely here in Florida! Lucky! I am in the position to begin reading it TODAY! I will post again as soon as I've finished and then it will be on its way back home to dabercro in Utah!4-13-12: Finished today. Sending for the next address! I'm glad that Irene finally found someone who treasures her as his one and only. My feelings about the story are so very mixed that it would take PAGES to describe. She struggled for so many years to be the person she THOUGHT she was supposed to be while her heart told her otherwise. What a DIFFICULT place to find one's self in.
4-24-12: Sent from the post office today!
Journal Entry 32 by 
Dove-i-Libri
at -- BookRing, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Dove-i-Libri at -- BookRing, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Released 12 yrs ago (4/24/2012 UTC) at -- BookRing, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA
CONTROLLED RELEASE NOTES:
Mailed off to Dabercro today, to finish up this well-travelled book ring! ☺ Happy Traveling, Book! ☺
The book came back to me in the mail yesterday. Thank you to all who participated and journalled your thoughts.
Reserving for bookstogive's General Literature VBB.
Journal Entry 35 by dabercro at -- Bookbox, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA on Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Released 11 yrs ago (10/31/2012 UTC) at -- Bookbox, -- By post or by hand/ in person -- USA
CONTROLLED RELEASE NOTES:
Chosen from the General Literature VBB. Sending to kayjay33 in British Columbia, Canada.
I chose this large heavy book from a VBB. I picked it up at the Post Office today, my mailman finding it too big to fit in the mailbox. It is a well travelled book, with many thoughtful journal entries. Thank you to everyone who kept it moving along.
I've just finished this disturbing book..Quoting NMReader
This was a far different book then the other books about polygamist that I have heard about where the discussion centered on the sexual abuse of young children. Unquote
Convincing 14 and 15 year old girls to become plural wives to a man who often has children close to that age, is sexual abuse in my opinion. I really didn't like the book very much.Irene seems to have spent a lot of time crying or screaming. I guess it is easy to say that if life was that bad, she should leave the marriage. But with several children which she wouldn't want to leave behind,that would not be that easy. Even if she were allowed to take them, how would she support them?
However it is good to read about a different lifestyle and be glad that it wasn't the one that I had to live.
With the raise in our Canadian postal rates, I will probably have to wild release this large hard cover book.
This was a far different book then the other books about polygamist that I have heard about where the discussion centered on the sexual abuse of young children. Unquote
Convincing 14 and 15 year old girls to become plural wives to a man who often has children close to that age, is sexual abuse in my opinion. I really didn't like the book very much.Irene seems to have spent a lot of time crying or screaming. I guess it is easy to say that if life was that bad, she should leave the marriage. But with several children which she wouldn't want to leave behind,that would not be that easy. Even if she were allowed to take them, how would she support them?
However it is good to read about a different lifestyle and be glad that it wasn't the one that I had to live.
With the raise in our Canadian postal rates, I will probably have to wild release this large hard cover book.
My niece is going south for a few weeks. I gave her this book to wild release somewhere along the way. I want it to travel but it's too big to mail. Hopefully she will remember to let me know where she leaves it.
Journal Entry 39 by 
AnonymousFinder
at Langley, British Columbia Canada on Thursday, January 31, 2013
AnonymousFinder at Langley, British Columbia Canada on Thursday, January 31, 2013
I loved this book! Thank you Auntie Kathy for passing it on to me. I found it fascinating to learn about a fundamentalist religion which I had previously only judged without understanding. Irene's life was very interesting and I appreciate the honesty with which she shared her story. I will release the book soon and will let you know where. Sheila
Journal Entry 40 by 
kayjay33
at Sam's Family Spa in Desert Hot Springs, California USA on Wednesday, February 6, 2013
kayjay33 at Sam's Family Spa in Desert Hot Springs, California USA on Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Released 11 yrs ago (2/6/2013 UTC) at Sam's Family Spa in Desert Hot Springs, California USA
WILD RELEASE NOTES:
My niece just emailed to tell me where she left this very well travelled book. I sure hope somebody picks it up and keeps it moving.
