Journal Entry 1 by Netstation from Coventry, West Midlands United Kingdom on Saturday, March 06, 2004

A warm and touching memoir, written by a self-declared overachiever who learns that she is expecting a baby with Down syndrome. Resisting pressure to have an abortion, including having her partner told by his head of faculty that if she goes ahead with the birth it will be the end of both their careers at Harvard, her pregnancy and the early years of her son's life are recounted in anecdotal style.

Sometimes moving, sometimes a little 'mystical' and often funny I enjoyed this book. 

Journal Entry 2 by Netstation at on Thursday, March 11, 2004

Released on Thursday, March 11, 2004 at through the mail in through the mail, sent as request Controlled Releases.

Off on the first leg of a ray. Running order:

mrsbridgwater - sent 11/03/04
kleptokitty
skribble
ermintrude75
honeyy
camis
loopy1
robbietsmum
torialouise
rainbowandrain
rachels-ratty
hey-miki - here 28/02/05
chelseagirl
ahthloday (US) 

Journal Entry 3 by mrsbridgewater from Holybourne, Hampshire United Kingdom on Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Thanks for this Netstation. Will read it when I have finished the book I am currently readin. May use 6" nail to attach the enclosed postcard to my forehead in the hope of getting some peace and quiet! 

Journal Entry 4 by mrsbridgewater from Holybourne, Hampshire United Kingdom on Monday, March 22, 2004

Very thought provoking! I wish I could get my husband to read this book - but know he'd refuse. Not sure how I feel about the 'mystical' elements of the memoir, I guess the rational part of my brain finds that sort of thing hard to process. Thanks for sending this.

Will post on to Kleptokitty as soon as I find her address. 

Journal Entry 5 by Kleptokitty on Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Arrived home today to a small drift of books on the door mat. And to think that a few days ago I had no Ring books to read!!

This is the sort of book that I wouldn't have considered pre-BookCrossing, but I'm looking forward to getting into. 

Journal Entry 6 by Kleptokitty on Saturday, April 03, 2004

This is a mid-point journal entry to apologise as this is taking me far longer to read than I expected. For once, it's the only book I have on the go yet I still find myself struggling. Not because it is a bad book, far from it, but I'm finding it's requiring my full concentration and I'm a bit short of that just now.

I'm about half way through now, and will crack on as quickly as I'm able. Adam hasn't been born yet, so I'm wondering how the rest of the book will develop. 

Journal Entry 7 by Kleptokitty on Saturday, April 03, 2004

Yes I know I only journalled this morning, but I've spent the entire day in bed with the book & a big plate of stilton and biccies. Bliss! But all in the name of BookCrossing you realise!!

I'm not sure I'm very comfortable with all the magical visions and the like that Martha recounts. But with or without those, this is a remarkable story. It doesn't seek sympathy, either for Adam or for Martha during the worst parts of her pregnancy, and is told with a complete lack of sentimentality.

I would have liked to have heard how the family coped with the lifestyle changes that they made after Adam's birth.

Adam's message, of slowing down & smelling the bushes, is probably something that we could all benefit from heeding.

"We go around like Queen Elizabeth, bless her heart, clutching our dowdy little accessories, avoiding the slightest hint of impropriety, never showing our real feelings or touching anyone else except through glove leather. But we were dazed and confused when the openly depressed, bulimic, adulterous, rejected princess Di was the one people really adored." 

Journal Entry 8 by Kleptokitty at n/a in n/a, given to a friend -- Controlled Releases on Saturday, April 03, 2004

Released on Saturday, April 03, 2004 at n/a in n/a, given to a friend Controlled Releases.

Heading off on the next leg of it's journey on Monday. 

Journal Entry 9 by skribble from London , Greater London United Kingdom on Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Thanks Kleptokitty! The book was waiting for me on the doorstep when I got home from work today and was enough to make me break my resolution that I wouldn't turn the computer on tonight.

I hope to make a start on it over the Easter weekend. 

Journal Entry 10 by skribble from London , Greater London United Kingdom on Monday, April 12, 2004

Gosh! I didn't expect to be journalling this so quickly - but I started reading the book on Saturday on my way to see the in-laws and put it down at midnight the same day.

I found the book very moving and thought provoking. I really liked the authors apparant honesty and open-ness as she describe's her emotional journey. I would probably interpret the more spiritual aspects as a matter of intuition/empathy/hormones rather than the work of 'angels' but nontheless found the book utterly compelling.

For me, the message of the book came from the contrast between the Harvard scholars and Adam - that wisdom can come from unexpected sources, and that those that appear intellegent or educated can often be the most closed and therefore ignorant 

Journal Entry 11 by skribble from London , Greater London United Kingdom on Friday, April 16, 2004

Finally made it to the post office - so the books off on it's next leg. 

Journal Entry 12 by ermintrude75 from Norwich, Norfolk United Kingdom on Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Arrived in the post yesterday - thanks skribble! 

Journal Entry 13 by ermintrude75 from Norwich, Norfolk United Kingdom on Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I found this book extremely enjoyable and very thought-provoking. As a young woman embarking on an academic career (not at Harvard though! :) I am all too aware of some of the attitudes that can make life with babies and young children difficult, let alone a pregnancy like Martha's. As other readers have mentioned, the books really picks out the contrast between highly academic intellect, and the empathy, intuition and connection with other people that became emphasised while Martha was carrying Adam. I know which I would rather have.

I liked the imagery of the puppeteers, of some higher force which could simply be intuition or could be something else beyond our understanding, and found it refreshing that the stories of "angels" and "voices" are simply presented as the author's experience, mostly leaving the reader to put their own meanings on them. I'd like to hear more about events after Adam's birth, as the book suggests that the "happenings" didn't stop then but have continued as he's grown. 

Journal Entry 14 by camis from Tharston, Norfolk United Kingdom on Monday, August 23, 2004

I received this in the post today from Honeyy. Have a couple of other rings to get through first before I can start on this, so apologies for any delay! 

Journal Entry 15 by camis from Tharston, Norfolk United Kingdom on Friday, October 01, 2004

I have, at last, been able to get to this book and it was worth the wait.

A very honest and moving account of the author's pregnancy. At first, I dismissed the mystical side of her experiences, but as the story progressed it seemed to me that without the 'visions' she would not have made it to the end of the pregnancy. Whether or not you believe in guardian angels, there was something that gave Martha the strength to carry on, be it hormones, instinct or something else.

As others have said, I would have liked to have read more about life after Adam's birth. There were sectins that gave some details of a change of life for the family, but it would be interesting to find out more.

Definitely a thought-provoking read - thanks for sharing this and I will get it on the move to loopy1 as soon as I can. 

Journal Entry 16 by loopy1 from Herne Bay, Kent United Kingdom on Saturday, October 09, 2004

This book has impeccable timing - I was just lying in bed contemplating my first full day on my own since DH went away for the weekend, when the doorbell rang with this book to keep me company!
It might take a few days before I get to it, but I'm really looking forward to reading it. Thanks to all those before me. 

Journal Entry 17 by loopy1 from Herne Bay, Kent United Kingdom on Thursday, October 21, 2004

I found this book laugh out loud funny in places, and incredibly moving in others - especially the cookie dough fight!
It is an amazing story, and I really want to believe that it's completely true. I especially enjoyed the imagery of the bunraku puppetmasters.
I found it really amazing to read of life at Harvard, with all the press towards work and neglect of family. Although I loved the smurf pool!
I have a strange feeling this book will haunt me for a while. Thanks for sharing it.
I would have liked to hear more about life with Adam, as well. 

Journal Entry 18 by Robbiesmum from Thirsk, North Yorkshire United Kingdom on Friday, October 29, 2004

This arrived just now! Managed to grab it as Robbie was taking great interest in the envelope!

This book jumped out at me all those months ago when I signed up to the bookring. I'm interested in Harvard, and I have taught students who had Down's Syndrome, and my mum nursed at one of the old hospitals so I have an ongoing interest in how different people have coped and adapted. It's very different now - and yet, without even starting this memoir I can imagine the thoughts of Martha and the problems faced at work.

Looking forward to this. 

Journal Entry 19 by Robbiesmum from Thirsk, North Yorkshire United Kingdom on Tuesday, November 16, 2004

I've decided to pass on this book. I'm a bit snowed under at the moment with my courses and can't give time to this. I'll pass it on so I don't hold up the ring. 

Journal Entry 20 by torialouise from York, North Yorkshire United Kingdom on Monday, November 22, 2004

Arrived safely - looking forward to reading 

Journal Entry 21 by torialouise from York, North Yorkshire United Kingdom on Sunday, December 12, 2004

i really enjoyed this book, funny, touching and very thought provoking. I loved the flashbacks from life with Adam today back to the pregnancy and like others, i would love to hear more about life with Adam.

Some of the sentiments really hit home:

~ We spend our lives trashing our treasures and treasuring our trash

~ Loving Adam has taught me a lot about the truth. He has taught me to look at things in themselves, not at the value a brutal and often senseless world applies to them. As Adam's mother I have been able to seequite clearly that he is no less beautiful for being called ugly, no less wise for appearing dull, no less presious for being seen as worthless.And Neither am I. Neither are you. Neither are any of us.

A truely wonderful read - thanks for sharing. Sending to rainbowandrain now

 

Journal Entry 22 by bookwormteacher from Cambridge, Cambridgeshire United Kingdom on Wednesday, December 22, 2004

It arrived today thanks and it looks really good. 

Journal Entry 23 by bookwormteacher from Cambridge, Cambridgeshire United Kingdom on Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sorry forgot to say I posted this the other day so it should be with hey-miki soon!
This book was brilliant, so thought provoking and inspiring I could not put it down! I highly recommend this book. I did find it hard to believe some of the bits but that did not detract from the story at all.
Thanks for giving me the chance to read it. 

Journal Entry 24 by hey-miki from London , Greater London United Kingdom on Monday, February 28, 2005

Arrived last week and I'm now avidly reading it... 

Journal Entry 25 by hey-miki from London , Greater London United Kingdom on Wednesday, April 13, 2005

What a remarkable story. Like all the previous readers I too found it honest and touching. It was a pity not to hear more about Adam as a fully fledged person, rather than as a foetus (but then the book clearly sets out to describe the pregnancy). I'm hoping there'll be a sequel some day!

The academic background of the author came through strongly (and added credibility). I liked the way she addressed the various types of responses she'd received, and put them all in their place. Particularly those from pro-lifers who were so keen to use her story to support their own agenda.

Photos of Adam on the author's home page

Thanks for recommending this, Netstation! I'm posting it to chelseagirl now 

Journal Entry 26 by chelseagirl from Faringdon, Oxfordshire United Kingdom on Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Oops. Just realised that I've read this and hadn't journalled to say it had arrived! Sorry about that .... *slaps wrist*

Anyway, this did arrive safely and I've been wrapped up in it for the last few days; it's been a life-affirming distraction from my dissertation.

This is a wonderful book that made me smile so many times, but I have to admit that I found myself feeling very angry with Martha Beck on occasion - my nephew-to-be has Down Syndrome and I know what a wonderful beautiful child he is and how much pleasure he brings to everyone he touches, so when Martha was being so negative and kept referring to her ubnborn baby as "retarded" I was inwardly screaming at her, "He's not a retard, he's just different, he'll be perfect in his own lovely way!"

I was really disappointed by the outlook of those at Harvard to Martha's pregnancy. I suppose I've always thought that the more intelligent you are, the more open-minded you'd be about life but that clearly isn't the case, and if one good thing came of Adam (apart from Adam himself, of course!) it was that his birth freed his parents from this eternal bid for perfection at all costs.

I loved the spiritual aspects of the book, and hope that the angels have carried on watching over Martha - though I suspect that with Adam around, they don't have to.

Like others I'd like to hear more about Adam and how he's doing. This was a wonderful book, thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it!

I'll post this off to ahthloday as soon as I have an address. 

Journal Entry 27 by ahythloday from Richmond, Virginia USA on Friday, May 13, 2005

yay! i had forgotten that i'd signed up for this one. i just finished martha beck's new memoir "leaving the saints" which is one of the greatest memoirs i've ever read, HANDS DOWN! i reccomend it to anyone who liked "expecting adam" or just wants to laugh so hard they have a serious accident. it is such a testament to her experience in "expecting adam" that she is able to cultivate such a sense of humor and wonderment in her latest book(she talks a lot about her pregnancy in her latest memoir as well so i feel like i have a good idea what is going to happen in this other book!)

looking forward to finishing this book in the same time it took me to read "leaving the saints" which is roughly 24 hours! 

Journal Entry 28 by ahythloday from Richmond, Virginia USA on Sunday, May 15, 2005

wonderful! it is really funny but i had a very different reaction to this book than most of the other readers!

i read the comments of the other participants and was surprised to see many of the reactions! i was first struck by the fact that many people added a little disclaimer before praising the book, such as "i don't believe in this but..." i thought that was really interesting. i also thought it was interesting that people found the story only marginally more believable since the author was educated. this seemed interesting given the nature of the story and the circumstances in which the experiences occured, namely the ivy league environment! Most interesting of all, however, was that so many people were willing to chalk up the expriences to hormones while in the same breath saying that it was a good book. i could be wrong here but it seems like at least admitting the possible reality of the expriences is an essential component to fully enjoying and really understanding the story and the impact of these experiences on the author. it seems that to reject out of hand the 'mystical' side of the book is to negate the experiences themselves. but i guess any way you looked at it, it was a great read! One other thing i noticed was that a reader objected to the use of the term "mentally retarded". i personally had no problem with that myself since the term is quite medically acceptable and the word "retarded" is only invested with derogatory meaning when used in a less medical sense, if you know what i mean.

however, the biggest point i disagreed with was that the book was not sentimental. i think it was totally sentimental. i think too many people invest that word with uncomfortable connotations. sentimental, as i take it, means to think emotionally rather than rationally. i think beck admits to this several times (in a rather humorous way) when she repeatedly jokes about having lost her mind or when she talks about learning to give up the "harvard" way of thinking rationally. take this line from page 296; "I have been blessed with love both human and divine, and i believe that there is no essential difference between them. Any perswon who acts out of love is acting for God. There is no way to repay such acts, except perhaps to pass them on to others." That is about as hokey and sentimental a line as you can imagine and it is only one of about a trillion that i found! but i don't see this as necessarily a bad thing. i think it attests to the childlike wonder of her spiritual journey and as such, conveys a verbal honesty that makes most of us uncomfortable.

with all that out of the way, i just want to say that i loved that she named the obstetrician dr.grendel. i love the character of grendel from "beowulf" and her naming is certainly quite apt! grendel the stealer of light, that tortured and deeply pained, very vindictive monster who has cursed himself! i love the hidden allusion that adam is the light, much like the light in hrothgar's mead hall....

well, that was mostly what i wanted to say about this book. i found it extremely helpful as background reading for the other book that i mentioned in my previous post, "Leaving the Saints". very highly recommended for anyone who liked this book!