I found this slightly-battered hardcover at the local library book sale.

This is a charming little number that I recall from my youth. It was written by a ten-year-old girl as classroom essays at her Episcopal boarding school, somewhere around the turn of the century -- the last one, that is. Sounds a bit precious - but she's not a sugar-and-spice kid, as when, while playing at "baptism," she drops the neighbor's 2-year-old into the water barrel. (He survived unharmed; things don't always turn out quite that well.)

"In the library are three kinds of books. Books people like to read. Books people do not like to read, and books people never will read.... The library is where my father took his check book when I broke the window. I was only trying to kill a fly. It would take too long to tell you what my mother said."

"Spring is beautiful and smells sweet. Spring is when you shake the curtains, and pound on the rugs, and take off your long underwear, and wash in all the corners.... In the Spring horses and mules have colts, and Tillie Unger has a baby. The doctor says 'goodbye until next year.' The priest says 'how very sweet." And my grandmother says 'how perfectly horrible.' "

[There's a TV Tropes page for the book as well.]

I'm adding this book to the I Hate SF bookbox, which will soon be on its way to BCer grubsneerg in Pennsylvania. Hope everyone enjoys the selection!