"MY BOOK DID SO WELL IN HARDCOVER THAT I'M NOW FOR THE FLAT TAX."

AL FRANKEN ON:

FEMINISM
"Limbaugh was railing about how feminists believe that all heterosexual sex is rape. The thing is, though, I know a lot of women, almost all of whom consider themselves feminists, and I know of only one who actually holds this belief. And we've been married nearly twenty years."

FAMILY VALUES
"Quick. What do Newt Gingrich, Bob Dole, Phil Gramm, Dick Armey, and George Will have in common? Answer: They've all been married one less time than Rush Limbaugh."

NEWT GINGRICH
"Many of us, like Newt, have acknowledged smoking dope and reading Toffler in the early 70s. But after reading his book, I think Newt's dirty little secret is that he smoked dope and watched The Jetsons."

EXPLODING MEDICARE COSTS
"Why not shoot the elderly into space? Stay with me. Because I'm not just thinking about the budget here. I'm talking about science. Just think how many more manned space operations NASA could undertake if they didn't have to worry about getting the astronauts back."

CRIME
"I have a radical gun-buyback idea that I guarantee would be a huge success. Here's how it works: hand in a gun, get a free vial of crack."

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