I'm sorry if I missed your idea - at first glance, your post looked like one big off-topic flame, so I deleted it. Just like I deleted the multitude of tell-a-friends from the Buzz page as soon as I found out about it. And the member that went overboard on the tell-a-friends has already been dealt with, and won't be doing it again. (FWIW, he sent them to his own private customer list in good faith, and was quite reticent to have upset people.)
I'm sure if you've spent time on this site, you'll see we're not at all about spam. In fact, as far as web communities go, you'd be hard pressed to find a more polite, literate, generous, and enthusiastic group of members anywhere.
Regarding the feature request to limit the tell-a-friends, that's definitely something I'll consider. But the limit would be higher, probably 100, since many members legitimately have sent the referral message to a hundred true friends before.
Just FYI, the incident that happened Thursday evening with the 20,000 messages is the first such event in the 15 months this site has been in operation. Nobody is perfect, and no site is perfect. But we try, and we do take action when something like this happens.